My Heart, Restored
Me depressed? I never would have believed it. This wasn’t depression it was just life in life in your 30’s. Sometimes I’d imagine my other life—me elsewhere. I’d create stories of alternate realities ranging from totally plausible to exotic and extraordinary. I’d even create magnificent back-up plans if some tragedy were to strike. I wasn’t abandoning my husband and kids; I just daydreamed about it.
I accepted stress, worry, and anxiety as a daily part of life. People I complained to reaffirmed my misery and shared their own. An Unsettling crept into my life. Sadness in corners that happy hour couldn’t cover.
One day my busy world cracked open with an emergency room visit for my two-year-old son. He swallowed a small, round circular battery. This is when Reiki practice came into my life as I took Level I and II to help him. After six months of daily Reiki treatment, his esophagus healed. During this time, I began to work on myself before bedtime and in the mornings. At first I thought something was wrong with me, as I always craved a treatment. Then I began incorporating mini-sessions throughout my day. Before I knew it, I had a daily practice that continually restores me.
My feelings and attitudes transformed. Before I started my Reiki self-practice, I censored my emotions ruthlessly. I never allowed myself to feel deep losses. My inner critic was never sated. I applauded my aggressive behavior and tough cookie persona. I manufactured a personality for a bruised and scarred heart. Sutures to keep what was left intact.
As I fell in love with my Reiki practice, I began to love myself. And I came to understand that staying tough just hardened and shut down my heart. This cut me off from my inner sense of peace and power.
Much has changed in the past two years. Reiki has carved out paths even I couldn’t imagine.
My daydreams now consist of the vacations my family and I will take together. My relationships are healthier and have more joy. Annoyance and anger have been replaced by tolerance and humor. Reiki released my stress and anxiety and filled me with clarity and faith. I have shaken off the cloak of sadness and thanked it for blanketing me until it was time to wake up. Me depressed? I do believe I was.
Reiki in A High School Classroom
I am a high school teacher for a large, urban district, and I have been teaching for eleven years. Within that time I’ve seen many fights, yet I’ve never seen one end like this. Over the summer of 2010 I took Reiki level one and two. Every morning since then I enter my classroom and put the power symbol in the corners and on each desk, as well as the symbols in the middle of the room. There is a noticeable vibe difference. So much in fact that when people enter I often hear, “It feels good in here,” or “Wow, I love the energy in this room,” and so on.
One day as I was putting students into groups, I suddenly heard a loud thud and kids began shouting. To my surprise two girls were fighting. Typically I would have done as I usually do (freak out on the inside) call for security, then try to stop the fight and not get caught in the middle. This time, I calmly leaned over the table, reached my arm around the front of the girl who instigated the fight and stared directly into her eyes. I calmly, but firmly commanded her to “Let go”. Her eyes locked on mine and froze. I bored my eyes into her, unaware of what I was doing. Abruptly, she simply released the other girl’s hair. Security arrived and escorted the girls out. Typically when this happens the class would resort to gossiping about the incident; however, this time my students promptly returned to working.
This same girl, the year before started another fight and my colleague (a six-foot two-hundred pound man) stood between them forcing them to stop but it didn’t happen. In fact, that fight didn’t get broken up until three adults helped break it apart.
After the incident, I remember my teacher saying I could send Reiki with my eyes. Formally that Japanese Reiki technique is called Gyoshi-ho (it means to stare). All I could think after this happened was, I reikied her with my eyeballs! And she let go, I can’t believe it! That’s just one incident on how Reiki has changed my classroom. When girls decide to fight, they just don’t let go because a teacher tells them, this was amazing. I literally witnessed the light of Reiki coming in and breaking up this fight.
For two years I have continued to cleanse my classroom, I haven’t had a fight, much less a major upset since then. At first I felt a bit scared to share with students and faculty my Reiki training, for fear that I’d be perceived as weird or new age. That shifted after the first year. I felt the more I could be the ideals of Reiki the less I felt split in my “day job” and “side business”. As soon as I embraced the ideals and did my own healing work, balance returned as I went within.
Since then, I’ve gained the confidence to speak more openly about Reiki, I’ve had faculty, students, parents, and even security come to me during the day for mini-Reiki sessions, healing attunements, or general inquiries. Some have even become clients. My “day job” is full of love and laughter and less stress, and my business is blossoming. When I’m supposed to shift again it will be to teach and practice Reiki full time, as I am very much the student of Reiki and let it teach me in its mysterious ways daily. I am so grateful.
Now when I’m cleansing myself of negative energy ( a dry bathing technique) or my Reiki chants are playing, everyone just knows that I’m doing my Reiki thing and it’s who I am. I’ve learned that we are not human doings, we are human beings, hence the name of this website, it’s as much of a reminder to me daily to be Reiki. This has restored such a natural state of peace and balance in my life and the way I live it! Thank you Reiki.
Reiki and my Baby
It was a typical Sunday in June, warm and sunny. Scot, my spouse, was barbequing some ribs on the grill, and I was on a mission cleaning and reorganizing the basement. My children, Luke and Ava were playing outside, then inside, and all around the house. On the laundry shelf, I noticed a small, shiny, circular battery about the size of a dime. I brought it upstairs to ask Scot what it went to, but he didn’t know. I placed the battery on a countertop, figuring I’d find the elusive toy it went to later. Back down to the basement I went, to get the play area ready and clean for the kids. Later that night my almost, two year-old, Luke, cried out “Mama oweee.” He clutched his stomach in pain. I checked for fever — nothing. It seemed, or so I thought, that he had bad tummy ache. He was trying to cough, but it wasn’t persistent. So I let him sleep with us in bed, because holding him was the only thing I could do. In the morning I told my cousin, who watches Luke, that he didn’t feel well and gave her the symptoms. I went off to work and at the end of the day got his report: he played (on and off), had wet diapers and ate a little bit, but his breakfast came up. Since I had one child already, which my cousin watched as well, we figured this was probably early signs of the flu. I was looking for BIGGER SIGNS. Besides, he just seemed a little off, a little tired, a little not feeling too well. Yet, Monday night, the same mysterious pain woke him, and I let him sleep with us again. My daughter had her four year check up in the morning, I would have Luke looked at then, after all nothing seemed like an emergency.
As it turned out, my doctor was on vacation and another practitioner took us. This doctor only stuck to his itinerary, Ava’s check-up, and stated that Luke would need a scheduled appointment. I left work furious, enraged that Luke had to go to the pediatrician’s office twice. I charged into that office armed with a seething letter, expounding upon the ridiculousness of making a sick two year-old wait. He was a young doctor, who said he didn’t realize how sick Luke was earlier when he saw him. We had our words, but I felt relieved when he prescribed me some medicine and said he should be better in a few days. I had a graduation ceremony to attend that evening, all of my seniors were graduating high school and I had to be on stage to greet them. Confident that my pediatrician had us on the road to health, I obliged my work duties, secretly feeling terribly guilty leaving my sick son. His dad, Scot, even remarked that he was playing fine outside and seemed okay that evening, this lightened my conscience slightly.
Once again, in the middle of the night, Luke clutched his belly. I thought this medicine just needs some time to work, we just got it today. I tried to soothe my son and my worries having faith that the medicine was doing its job. Then Wednesday night nothing changed. I was really getting worried, something was not right; this had gone on for too long.
The next morning, Thursday, I call the pediatrician’s office and made another appointment, although my cousin just kept saying, “Take him to Children’s Hospital,” they will figure it out. I can’t believe I’m actually writing this, but I didn’t want to anger my doctor, or his substitute, because in all honesty I loved my pediatrician he had been with us since Luke was born. And I thought, heck this guy’s a doctor, he knows, I’m just mad at him; I should just put my anger on the shelf and take Luke back there since this medicine he prescribed is clearly not taking away his pain.
Since Luke slept in late, I went to work briefly. Then Scot and I took my cousin’s guidance and went to Children’s Hospital. I remember feeling guilty leaving the students early, it was the last day I would see them before summer break, but I knew I had to take him to the hospital, not back to the pediatrician. I was over the emotion of not getting anybody mad.
I’m so glad I listened to my cousin, and not my fear of upsetting a doctor. Once at children’s, I immediately felt closely listened to by the doctors. An X-ray was promptly ordered and that is when I identified the battery.Relieved the mystery of his illness was over, I stared at the x-ray and remembered, “Oh, I think that’s the battery I found in the basement.” The atmosphere of, “Whew, we found the problem,” was replaced with one of, “Mam, we treat this as an emergency situation.” I was rocked; I absolutely had no idea of the damage we were about to face. But the doctors did, and I am so eternally grateful.
For five days, Luke had a battery in his throat. Five days, and I had no idea what was the matter with him. He had no way of telling me, and I had no way of knowing. I did what I was supposed to do; watch his vitals, went to the doctor, went home, waited for him to improve, and still nothing changed—until I went to Children’s. I remember being told that they see these cases two to three times a month, and the damage is caustic and catastrophic. Most people have batteries in their homes in things one would never think to look for. As a mom, I was trained to look for the choking hazardous toys, not the thing in the toy.
We didn’t leave the hospital until Saturday afternoon, and it is the single worst experience I have ever had in my life. Children’s Hospital was the saving grace. They had the battery out in twenty minutes. Like every parent’s nightmare, we had to play the waiting game to figure out the amount of damage to his esophagus. I had no idea if he’d be eating out of a tube for the rest of his life or need follow up surgeries. I tried to calm my mind, hold my son, and just be grateful for the minute, and I tried not to worry about the future. All I could do the three days in the hospital was the same I could do on the four sleepless nights leading up to the hospital. I held him, I loved him, but this time, I never left his side.
I feel honored to share Luke’s story, and I am amazed that my road to Reiki healing sprung from this horrible incident. Batteries are deadly to children, and I was all too naïve about that. Little did I know they are in so many things we give to children, like the sing-song cards (which my daughter loves) and so many of their toys. They are tiny and shiny and perfect for the precocious toddler to swallow. And they are deadly. Had I known the dangers, perhaps I wouldn’t have laid the battery on the counter so absentmindedly. Through the fear, and the anger, and the upside-downness of being in a hospital for days and not knowing what is in store for you or your baby, the one thing I knew was that I had the best care, yet his future healing and the road ahead was undetermined.
About two weeks after leaving the hospital an X-ray was performed and there were three “trouble spots”. Two areas of his esophogus were thin and narrowed, and a pouch had developed at the base. I left the hospital more afraid, choking back tears on what was aheadl Shortly thereafter I ran into an old colleague that was a Reiki Level Two practitioner. She handed me my Reiki Master/ Teacher’s brochure, and I thought this is it, no more excuses. Call.
In hindsight, I questioned why I just didn’t take him for healing sessions. Clearly an experienced practitioner would be more powerful and best for my son. Yet, that never even occurred to me. It never occurred because I was supposed to do this. I was supposed to do this? Even as my frightened self questioned this, my higher, divine self, knew the answer. I immediately took level one and two Reiki a month apart. I began to work on him incessantly. While he slept I leaned over his crib and put my hands on his chest, chanting the power symbol. When he ran around the back yard I beamed Reiki with my eyes and hands. When he snuggled on my lap for story time, I’d hug and hold him and let the Reiki flow. I did this for six months, and waited out the original healing time given for this type of injury. On the date of the six-month check up, that I sent long distance Reiki to every day for a week, I walked in knowing that we would receive good news. I had felt the healing energy of Reiki. I knew that the unconditional whole of love that came from me to my son flowed with that Reiki energy. It was the first time that I felt confident going back to the hospital. We went in for the final appointment, and Luke literally played with his toy dinosaurs on the Doctor’s knees (previously he was so traumatized by the sight of anybody in a white coat, he’d go into hysterics). Not this time, the X-ray came back and the Doctors were pleased. Nothing further was needed. No dilation. No surgery. No more appointments or special diets. All areas of concern were healed!
Luke is great now; nobody would ever know he swallowed a battery. It’s astonishing to think that the green, corroded battery they pulled out created “level two” damage to his esophagus. No holes, no problems, and no more doctors. It’s mysterious how the universe works, little did I know that my son’s physical injury lead me on a life time journey of my own Reiki healing, I now begin the road within, and I couldn’t be more grateful!