There is a saying that change is the only constant. The most current scientific research states that five percent of what controls our lives is conscious. If I think about these two statements then the truth that emerges is that as our life changes, then our life is essentially controlled by subconscious energies. This idea used to scare me, as I always thought I was in control of my life. I may have not been able to control the family and the story I was born into, but I did make some clear choices to do better with my life. I set goals, I met them. I was the type of person that accomplished things. Deep down there was a deep sadness for all the pain in the world and the pain in my heart. I knew at some level I was responsible for my life, and yet at other times life just seemed to happen and I had to deal with it the best I could. I didn’t want to believe I had no conscious control over what happened to me. What Reiki taught me is that I can access higher level of consciousness to bring those hidden, repressed energies to the light. At times this has felt overwhelming and I haven’t wanted to deal with some things, but there is no going back, we are here to grow and learn. Reiki can lead you to your higher self, your authentic purpose, and to higher levels of consciousness.
When Reiki came into my life, little did I know how much it would change me. Little did I know how much subconscious energies ran my life, despite my best efforts to keep the past in the past, or the sadness in unlit corners. When I first started using Reiki I just loved the way it made me feel. When I would give myself sessions, I just felt the warmth and the serenity that washed over me. Reiki felt good! I didn’t know what it was doing. Of course I knew that it healed “physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually,” but I didn’t know what it was healing or how. Fortunately, I kept giving myself treatments and it began to show me some of the stuff I kept hidden. Why would I want to “own” this part of my self—my ugly, my hurt, my fear, my inner conflict. Because this, as science is now proving, was controlling my life. Reiki helped me take my personal power back and integrate charges, along with illuminating shadow energies.
Part of what I teach my students in a Reiki class is how to use the world as a mirror to see your own energy. This practice puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life. If you can begin to catch your shadow and your ego, you can embrace the REAL you more fully, and live a more heart centered and peaceful life. Things that used to bother you won’t trigger you anymore once integrated. Your vibration will change and in turn so will the things and people you attract into your life. You can begin to create consciously the life you want to manifest rather than have it run by the shadowy demons that create suffering. Of course, I didn’t know this when I first began Reiki, I just used it a lot. Because I practiced Reiki all the time and asked to surrender to the source of Reiki, which I believe is the light of God, I began to have more “aha”moments.
For example, years ago I was having a problem with a colleague at work. She was always throwing her power around, getting the last word in, gossiping, trying to control everything. In other words, she was a real pain in my side. Of course I secretly judged her, and would bash her with other colleagues. She annoyed me and I took some of what she did personally because it would directly affect me. It took some time, and much humility, to see what this woman was trying to show me. I would send Reiki and the mental/ emotional symbol to our relationship when things got really rough. And one day, I had the “aha” she is me, I am her. Everything I condemned her for, I have done. My ego wanted to come in as soon as I had this epiphany and justify it with a silver tongue by saying, “No, you don’t do it that way, or you had good reason,” but the thing with Reiki is if you ask for healing of your highest good and intend it, you will receive it. I could not lie this woman showed me parts of myself that I did not like. We had the same energy; I just never saw it in myself! There was so much about this woman I did not like, that I realized there was so much in me that I kept hidden because I didn’t like those parts in me. I asked Reiki to release those parts within me. I began to do my investigative homework and asked myself when I acted like that. Or, how have I ever been like that? Honestly answering this, allowed me to see my shadow. It was a revealing exercise, that with some deep breaths I got through.
In order to make myself feel a little less bashed and have more compassion for this woman, I began to look for her good qualities. And wouldn’t you know, the good qualities I saw in her were the same ones I liked about myself. She was articulate, smart, resourceful, manipulative in the best sense of the word, often she could be very thoughtful, and she was a hard worker. This woman was one of my first lessons in using Reiki to allow me to heal hidden charges and shadow energies, thereby releasing them and replacing them with acceptance and compassion. It was tough for me to do, as it was the first time. The before Reiki me was always in the habit of judging and projecting onto others. Since then it’s gotten a lot easier to use the world as a mirror of yourself. Now it is a sort of game where I put on my “safari” hat and look for my ego and charges in people, life, and circumstances that really control me emotionally. I respect what I need to work on, not forcing myself to do this until I’m ready. Sometimes I needed to be really angry for awhile. Sometimes the hurt has been so deep that I needed time asking Reiki to help me with forgiveness before I begin the safari hunt. Sometimes I forget, and I don’t do my mirror homework. The universe is funny though because someone else comes parading along showcasing some insufferable energy begging for me to integrate it so it can finally go home and leave me alone, in peace, after I’ve accepted the blessing he or she has come to bestow.
I’ve learned that sometimes people can be the inverse when we have become polarized from ourselves. As Anodea, Judith says in her book, Eastern Body Western Mind “We invariably attract those who embody our rejected shadow—as mates, bosses, co-workers, neighbors, or children, who insinuate themselves into our lives through relationships we cannot easily escape. If we have rejected our personal power, our boss will be a tyrant. If we are an ever-giving codependent, we will marry someone cold and withholding. If we are quiet and considerate, our neighbor or roommate will be noisy and inconsiderate.” When I first read this it really irritated me, NO WAY I thought, not me, but I had two options. I could stick with my current belief system and hold unkind judgments for others, or I could be willing to see if this concept had any truth to it. The more I began to do this work, the more I began to see. The revelations have helped me. I have greater insight as to why I’ve acted certain ways in the past. I have a deeper appreciation for myself and others. I am more loving and accepting to myself and the world. Sure, I still get angry or I’m in disbelief at other’s actions, but all I can ever truly do in this world is my own inner work. The more I do that, the greater service I am to do my outer work in this world. And, I reap the benefits of greater peace and an inner certitude of trust that is unshakeable. Reiki has helped change me. It has helped heal those lower vibrating energies of condemnation, judgment, and criticism. By making this mirror work an active part of my Reiki practice I am attracting the things I want in my life and releasing that which no longer serves me. This has allowed me to feel empowered and in the flow of life using everyone and everything to my advantage to gain greater awareness of who I am and who I want to become. Thank you Reiki for allowing me to come into wholeness and acceptance of all parts of myself. Most importantly, thank you for helping me flow with the changes of life in a more conscious way leaving me empowered.